Submitted by Melissa Howsam — Correspondent
JERRY SEINFELD: Yeah, Go Daddy’s newest spooky spoof-y spokesbabies and the cooky coupling of Ozzy and Bieber as Super Bowl sideshows is funny. But Seinfeld’s got jokes, too. Good ones. Tagged “the best comedian of our time” by the Washington Post, the comedic legend bends the boards and tickles ribs with a double-header at DPAC for the first leg of his 2011 select-city return to stand-up tour. When: Feb. 12, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Starting at $47. More info
DAVID ALLAN COE: If your mom got runned over by a damned ole train the day she got out of prison and you were on the way to get her in your pickup truck drunk, than you know. It’s not irony. It’s the perfect Country and Western song. So, head over to Lincoln Theatre and hang around as long as David Allan Coe will let you as he twangs this quintessential country tune. You don’t even have to call him darlin’. With Rebel Son. When: Feb. 12, 8 p.m. $20 advance, $25 day of show. More info
TALES OF A FOURTH GRADE NOTHING: Few things give you disdain for fudge at age 8, but for that toddler terror Farley — I mean, what’d that turtle do to him? — who insisted on being dubbed a flavorful confectionery. As if he were sweet. Somehow Blume’s famed tellings of his shenanigans made us all feel a little more understood. But honestly, how hard could life have been when nap-time and recess were still totally acceptable parts of our days? Can we do that now? Yeah, I didn’t think so. But you can give yourself a nostalgic hour and escape to Carolina Theatre for some “tales of a fourth grade nothing.” If you feel inclined to take a child and don’t have one of your own, you can always borrow one. When: Feb. 7. 10 a.m. and 11:45 a.m. $8. More info
THE PRODUCERS: If “The Producers” makes you think of Matthew Broderick, which makes you think of Ferris Bueller, which makes you think of his day off and that sweet red Ferrari 250 GT convertible … Stop. This isn’t that. But it’s still hilarious and a bit outrageous and worth every penny. I mean, it’s Mel Brooks’ staging of the greatest show-biz scam that ever was. So, prop up at Progress Energy Center for the 12-time Tony Award-winning scheming Broadway spectacle. If it makes you feel any better, you can always play hooky from some otherwise dull obligation to go see the show. When: Feb 11-20. Times vary. $25-$75. More info
HALLMARK HOLIDAY HATERS BEWARE: Valentine’s is near. So, you should spread the love … just don’t go getting VD before VD. What? You thought it was a coincidence that they shared an acronym? Hardly. Either way, the Triangle gives you plenty of places to pre-game the VD and get hopped up on some passion potions. Singles looking to mingle can head over to Isaac Hunter’s on Feb. 10 for the dating game and some $4 Lone Riders; hopefully if you play your cards right, you won’t be riding home alone. Smitten? Pamper your partner with a primal aphrodisiac wine-and-dessert paring at Hereghty Café in Raleigh. Or head to Morrisville for “Chocolate Unwrapped,” a coupling of chocolate and wine that might lead to a different kind of coupling. Fingers crossed. Feel the love at these and a slew of other local Valentine’s events.
Raleigh
• Isaac Hunter’s Dating Game, Feb. 10 from 6-9 p.m.
• Valentine Trolley, Mordecai Historic Park, Feb. 12 at noon.
• Aphrodisiac Wine and Dessert Pairing Tour at Hereghty Café, Feb. 12 at 2 p.m.
Durham
• 10th-annual Valentine delivery and serenade, Feb. 12 from 11:30 a.m. - 4 p.m.
• Science of Wine at Museum of Life and Science, Feb. 10 from 7-9 p.m.
• The Arc of Durham County Valentine’s Day Dance, Feb. 11 from 7:30-10:30 p.m.
Chapel Hill
• Kids in the Kitchen: Valentine Cookie Decorating, Feb. 8 at 4 p.m.
• Valentine Cookie Decorating with wine and snacks, Feb. 9 at 5 p.m.
• Fridays Uncorked Valentine’s Day Tasting at A Southern Season on Feb. 10, 5 p.m.
Morrisville
• Chocolate Unwrapped, Feb. 12 from 1-5 p.m.
Check triangle.com for a complete list of Valentine’s events.
