Submitted by Melissa Howsam — Correspondent
This week check out Schmitty. Holding down the fort and doling out firewater at The Borough since "before it had walls, or plumbing, or that fancy red paint" this witty bar manager — officially the "executive director of covert operations" — has been conspiring to sate palates, and other clandestine charges, since (before) it hit our borough five years ago. Dubbed "Schmitty" by Borough owner and partner-in-crime Liz Masnik, this dangerous duo joke about taking their two-woman show on the road. What would Schmitty do? Well, she'd play the kazoo, of course. Liz (aka "The Rocket")? Well, she'd tap dance. But roadsters need roadie names. Naturally. So came "Schmitty." No tour dates yet, but The Borough sideshow is not one you want to sidestep. So belly up to their bar and laugh it up. Just don't let Schmitty hear you say "that's what she said," unless you wanna get bopped over the head with a kazoo. (And really, it'd be okay, if no one ever heard you say that again). Bottom's up!
Hometown: Rabat, Morocco.
How you hooked up with The Borough: I was hitchhiking and peddling wares in Vermont when I met The Rocket. We became fast friends after I demonstrated for her my keen ability to commune electrically with the elements, and to lay love into the arms of the spirits. She was amused by my vigor and offered me a job managing her soon-to-be constructed bar.
The Borough's vibe in three words: Dynamic. Unassuming. Vivacious.
What The Borough brings to "the borough": The Borough adds a space in downtown wherein anyone can feel comfortable. We mingle across boundaries.
Your Borough legacy: I've been working at The Borough since before it had walls. Or plumbing. Or that fancy red paint. We've been open for 5 years, and have retained most of our original staff. There's barely any turnover in our rotation. We bicker and grumble at one another, just like any healthy family, but we work it out and grow together. There's certainly a delicate balance between having a blast and working hard, but we're pretty well stocked with lively characters both behind the bar and behind the scenes. And of course, the regulars add so much charm that the place is positively bubbling with pizazz.
Other tricks or trades? My educational background is in sociology. My future will hopefully involve helping Raleigh facilitate a creative reuse center and repurposing marketplace. In the meantime, slinging booze suits just dandily. I'm lucky to be surrounded by imaginative, lively people every day of my life. Pretty darned ideal.
If you have a drink in your hand, it's probs a: Bourbon, neat. Coffee, black. Water, fizzy. (I have three hands sometimes).
Drink you could make blindfolded with a hand tied behind your back: I can actually make the "How Do You Q" — Borough specialty cocktail recently featured on Triangle.com's cocktail series — using only my eyebrows and left shoulder blade.
You're anywhere you want right this moment. Where are you? Some place very windy, eating pie with my hands.
Which of your coworkers are you most likely to drunk text? Snarquels.
If they made a movie about your life, who would play the voice in your head? My mother.
If you could live in a song, what song would it be? "Rock Lobster."
When you were little, you wanted to be a: Musician. I like to bang on things and make noises about my feelings.
Something silly you thought to be true as a child that you had an epiphany about coming of age: I used to think I should be too tough to cry; now I realize how healthy an instinct it is. Also, it's helpful when trying to remove debris from one's eye.
Concert you'd give your first born to go to: Neutral Milk Hotel.
Last song or album download or purchase: "Raghupati" by Prince Rama.
Movie you know so well you could watch in your mind: "The Wizard of Oz."
The last thing that made you want to run red lights to get to: On my way to Chapel Hill last night, there was a gorgeous storm cloud that I temporarily mistook for a mountain range. I'm serious. I wasn't driving, but I grew impatient as the car headed toward the storm system; I really wanted to just gun it and find out what it was all about.
If you didn't know better, you'd think this song was written about you: "Hey Jude."
A pop culture phenomenon you could live without: I'm likely to rip the face off of the next person who casually throws out a "that's what she said."
Biggest celeb trainwreck: Oscar Wilde.
A book that made you want to be a better person: "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach.
A piece of advice that will always stick with you: "Aim to make what you want of your life, but aim also to enjoy it."
Your perfect roundtable - who's there? My awesome little brother, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Andre the Giant, Jane Goodall, Tom Stoppard, Thurston Moore, Jimmy Carter, Mos Def and Joy Harjo.
People should know that you: Passionately dislike azalea bushes.
You sometimes get mistaken for: Sober.
One thing you refuse to do under any circumstances: send txt 2 u lik ths
One thing you'd easily do for the right cost: I'm having a hard time thinking of anything that I wouldn't do, aside from stuff that tugs at my morality. But run through fire, jump off of tall things, eat gross stuff? Sure. Make me an offer.
Most random thing you've been asked to do while bartending? I think the "let me touch your belly button" guy might be the winner.
Pet peeve: Using honesty as an excuse to just be mean. Also, people who shout "more cowbell" instead of just enjoying the damn song.
Your guilty pleasure: Looooong showers.
What one thing do you wish you could tell people about patronizing any bar? A sincere smile gets you way more points than a practiced one.
If you're not at work, you're most likely: Learning to beatbox.
Other bars in the Triangle you have worked: Nye's Polonaise Lounge.
