Submitted by KEVIN PANG — Chicago Tribune
This article isn't for you, dear reader who willfully picked up the food section. If you know that gastrique is a sauce and not an antacid, no need to read on. Kindly pass this along to the men in your life whose preferred cooking apparatus remains the microwave, despite this being the 21st century.
Everyone else gone? Men scared of kitchens, come closer ... SLAP!
What's wrong with you? Are you so thick that you don't see the benefits of cooking for women at home, especially for Valentine's Day?
Let us count the ways:
More impressive to women. Much cheaper. More privacy. More romantic. You can choose the music and lighting. Distance from dining table to couch much shorter than restaurant to couch. You can control the portion sizes - nothing kills the mood like two stuffed people after dinner.
But the book "Recipes Every Man Should Know" gave the strongest argument yet: "Women think men who cook are sexy, and it involves fire, sharp instruments and meat."
But perhaps you're scared of screwing it up.
The No. 1 reason amateurs mess up in the kitchen? They're trying too hard, doing too much, tackling impressive-sounding but technically demanding dishes.
They aim for souffles when a no-bake turtle cheesecake is a quarter the effort and four times as impressive.
Men: I have a strategy for you. Nothing in life is without risk of failure, but the following has a 99.8 percent success rate.
Whereas confidence plays a role in the courting phase, in the kitchen, it's all right for men to feign cooking incompetence. In fact, telling your special valentine, "I've been working hard on this dish for you. I really hope it comes out right!" suggests a vulnerability, an attractive imperfection, that many women will find charming.
This is how I wooed my girlfriend. I didn't tell her I was an awesome cook. I fumbled around the kitchen, clanged the pots a whole lot, then presented her with the greatest chicken ever roasted.
It's no coincidence a few hours later, we had our first kiss.
Entering with lowered expectations has the advantage that, if your dinner is a hit (and the recipes here are impressive and dead simple), you'll come out looking like a rock star.
